Sunday, September 25, 2011

An Inconvenient Truth

Today I faced an unfortunate truth that I have been avoiding for weeks. My cupcake habit has gotten out of control. Sure, it started simply enough. A once-a-week visit to the IcedGems truck on Fridays for a superior deviation from my usually low-sugar diet. What's wrong with that? I thought.

Then I burned some vacation time in August by taking Fridays off. Anxiety set in every Friday afternoon, and I began seeking cupcakes close to home. I justified this in the name of research. I am a food blogger, after all, and it would be remiss of me to not be familiar with the local scene. But then, as slippery slopes go, I began frequenting these local bakeries at other times, not just Friday afternoons, especially Flavor Cupcakery which is located next door to our new favorite restaurant, Fiesta Grill. Who doesn't like a little cupcake after an enchilada platter? I reached a peak of sorts when I stopped by for not one, but six cupcakes last weekend, fully planning on premeditated cupcake deviance during the week.

Over the ensuing weeks since the cupcake habit grew in August, my clothing has been getting a little snug. Still, I persisted in the myth that all was well and that I could get away with such behavior. I've been avoiding mirrors. (One of my favorite habits is to look at myself in the mirror and poke my soft spots to jiggle the fat. This may sound absurd and self-loathing to those who have never done it, but as a formerly overweight person and member of Weight Watchers, I know just how out of hand I can get - having gotten there not just once but twice - and this practice, while not endorse by Weight Watchers, actually keeps me in the healthy eating/healthy weight area. When I stop doing it, I am inevitably in Weight Gain Denial, where I can remain for months while accumulating an extra  20, 30 even 40 lbs, so this is a good thing for me to do. Really.) This weekend I pulled on a pair of jeans that fit comfortably about a month ago. And pulled and pulled and pulled. I held my breath to get them zipped and despaired at the muffin top (cupcake top?) that spilled over the waistline.

OK, so it's actually only been 7 lbs. But, supposedly that is a full clothing size. So, today I eat my last cupcake. It is - appropriately enough - carrot cake. And even though it is riddled with coconut, I am savoring every little bite, letting the dense cream cheese frosting melt in my mouth, because I know it will be a while before I can do this again.

 Farewell Flavor Cupcakery and IcedGems. We've had a pretty good run. Please know that my absence is because your products are just too good. I'll see you again when I can fit into those jeans.

What about the farewell cupcake?

No comments:

Post a Comment